Hello blog friends. I’ve had nothing to say this week. After bragging to someone that I rarely ever get stomach viruses, I got one. Ha! Ha! It wasn’t the 24 hour variety, either.
I’ve missed posting this week…
The Big, Bad Devil February 24, 2008
I was recently around someone that I used to attend church with. We were discussing some spiritual matters, and she repeatedly mentioned things that “the enemy” was trying to thwart in her life. It was conversation that I haven’t been accustomed to over the last 18 months.
Ever since we began to disengage from institutional Christianity – the Christianity that demands performance, church attendance, and the appeasement of an angry god, I really haven’t thought much about the character referred to as the devil. It’s not so much that I don’t believe in a spiritual world around us with those spirits serving Father and spirits not serving Him. It’s just that I used to blame “the devil” for most anything in my life that wasn’t going according to my plan. I was always rebuking him, binding him and angry at him. Now I really have nothing to say to him and barely a thought regarding him.
It’s strange that it is so much more peaceful this way. I’m not in doubt of the devil’s existance as much as I’m just not worried about him. My belief in Father’s love is finally stronger than my fear of what the devil is up to. What I have found has been rather surprising to me. I am actually my own worst enemy. “I” – the one who wants to be fed, who wants to be the center of the universe. ME! ME! ME! Yep, that’s the beast that needs rebuking the most. 
Some Things That Made Me Smile Today February 20, 2008
1. My daughter changed her clothes five times this morning. She kept emerging from her bedroom with something new on. Then she would disappear again. Of course, all of her cast-offs were on the floor! She still has two months until her third birthday. I can’t imagine where she learned this behavior already… 
2. I needed to explain something to my son, so I had him hold very still and look at me. When I was finished with my instruction, I discovered that he hadn’t heard a word that I said. So I had him build something with his Legos and I repeated myself. This time he heard and understood everything.
3. I remembered that Wayne Jacobsen will be visiting with a bunch of us in just over two weeks. I’m looking forward to the gathering, so that made me smile.
4. My kids and I went to the park today with one of Nathan’s friends. It was a beatiful day, but very windy. When we arrived at the park and saw that we had it all to ourselves, we all smiled.
Here’s wishing whoever might be reading this a tomorrow full of smiles. (Or today, depending on where you are in the world)
Experiencing Some Vertigo February 17, 2008
I sense the gentle nudging from God into a new journey concerning our son’s education. Until early this school year, he was very used to school. However, he was far from thriving there. So we brought him home, I bought cirriculum, and we have been having school at home. It has been miserable.
I met with Cynthia recently to share some of what I have sensed lately. You see, I know that I have to let go and just let him learn. Life is such a rich learning experience if we just let a person be. Nathan has many wonderful interests and soaks up new things like a sponge. But it is sheer torture for him to sit at a desk and practice rote math problems and spelling words.
This reminds me of when we got off of the church performance track. Our long-trusted gauge for proper spirituality was gone – the checklist was ripped up. We actually had to engage God ourselves and follow Him instead of a human intermediary or a system. It was scary and exhilerating and has ended up being one of the best things that has ever happened to us. But we went through a true season of vertigo along the way. The rug had been pulled out from under us.
So it only seems natural for me to be at this place concerning education. The system doesn’t teach you to think, but we can do that for our children. It’s just so hard to let go of all that I know. Teaching for results (also known as teaching to test) seems so safe. We are so results-driven, and we end up selling out along the way. But performance and results have little to do with true education.
It’s so hard to let go. Did I say that already? How will I know he’s okay and as smart as the other kids? Just today I reverted back and ended up shouting at him when he totally glazed over during his “boring” math problems. “I already know how to do this, Mom!” he shouted back.
Fear…. what a destructive force. I pray I get my footing again soon.
You Really Can’t Judge a Book by It’s Cover February 13, 2008
The key word being judge…
I had a nudge from the Holy Spirit last week. Immediately following that nudge, the words you were wrong about her were whispered straight into my heart. It wasn’t an angry reproach. It was a profoundly healing moment.
Father was speaking this about someone I used to attend church services with. I actually blogged about her here a few months ago after running into her in the grocery store. She is the exterior image of perfection, and my kids and I were a mess that day. She is the ultimate Southern Belle, with the easy manner and warm, southern drawl. I remember some of us joking a while back that she probably does her hair and make up just to walk to the mailbox. The first time I saw her wearing blue jeans, I was stunned.
Anyway, I had her pegged (I thought). She was a religious type, submissive toward her husband and fully invested in the institution. After all, that particular fellowship began in her home in the 70’s. When they could barely contain the crowds, they decided to hire a preacher and get a pulpit.
Why was the Holy Spirit letting me know that there was far more to this woman than I ever knew? Well, I found out that she had read The Shack. I was expecting to hear that she tore it to shreads, so you can imagine my surprise when I was told that she read it twice and cried throughout it both times. Then I was totally astonished when I was told that she is telling everyone about the book.
So last week, I wrote her a letter. After 18 months, I finally felt like I could be honest with her about why we are no longer attending church. If you would like to know why, click here. Along with the letter, I included a copy of So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore. I figured that one would really tick her off.
Again, I was wrong. She called me and we are getting together tomorrow. She loved the book and can’t wait to talk about it!
I love it when this happens. It is painful to look in the mirror and realize that I had judged another person, but I feel so free to have let that go! Best of all, I get to spend a couple of hours tomorrow with a wonderful human being.
Idol Worship? February 10, 2008
Do we pay attention to what we are saying?
According to Webster’s Dictionary, the word allegiance means: 1. the duty that was owed by a vassal to his feudal lord; 2. the obligation of support and loyalty to one’s ruler, government, or country; 3. loyalty or devotion, as to a cause, person, etc.
So the question is, do I pledge my allegiance to the American flag, or the Christian flag, or the Bible? I have to honestly answer that in the negative. I cannot pledge my devotion to two pieces of cloth and a book. And I won’t ask my children to anymore, either. My son had three years of that in Christian school.
This may sound like sacrilege to many. But I’ve just been thinking about how many things we just do because we are taught that it is the thing to do. Place your hand over your heart and declare your devotion to a symbol of the USA. Declare your devotion to a symbol of the Christian religion. Declare your devotion to a book. I love the book, but the Word became flesh. Jesus is the Word. The book is part of what deepens my relationship with Him, but I do not need to declare my allegiance to it. I do not recall Jesus or the disciples declaring their allegiance to any symbols or rolls of parchment. Jesus was devoted to Father, and the disciples were devoted to Jesus.
I am not suggesting anarchy. I am grateful to live in a country where I can write a post like this one and not fear wrath from the government. Those who have fought for our freedom would have died in vain if we were unable to exercise that freedom. I pay my taxes and obey the laws of the land – with the exception of probably speeding from time to time. When I feel compelled to vote, I exercise that liberty as well.
I guess that the concern I have is that this blind loyalty to objects actually reminds me of idol worship. Even the institutions that they represent are man-made. But that’s for another post.
Metamorphosis February 8, 2008
It was a warm and glorious day here in SC. While I wouldn’t mind a good snow storm once in a while during these winter months, I would most likely need to move back north to get them. Then I would compain about the cold, so I’m better off here.
I miss my summertime friends. We had a lot of visitors to our butterfly bush last summer, and when it wasn’t 105 degrees (yes, I complained about that too!), I loved to go out and watch them. Here are photos of two of them.
They make me think about the human experience. I have found that I go through periods of time when I pull in. I stop socializing quite as much and kind of go into my own world. Things may look dark and bleak to the outside world, and sometimes it gets rather lonely. What is really happening is metamorphosis. Father surrounds me with His presence and works gently on my heart. What emerges is less of me and more of Him.
Butterflies are often seen as weak and flighty. I see them as beautiful survivors. It is no small task coming out of that cocoon.
Page 123 February 4, 2008
The rules of this game:Pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more.
(No cheating!) Find Page 123.
Find the first 5 sentences.
Post the next 3 sentences.
Tag 5 people.
Thanks to Cynthia for tagging me! This is from The Naked Church by Wayne Jacobsen.
A look at Israel’s kings demonstrates how few excaped it. Even the ones who started out with sincere hearts for god were ensnared by the trappings of power – Saul, Solomon, Uzziah, to name a few. Only the strength of David’s love for God saw him through similar corruption in his own reign.
I tag Rob, Sue, Marti, Kent, and Rick. Sorry, but I regularly read so few blogs…
